Tuesday, April 14, 2009

 

101 Ways To Kill Yourself guide

Its not really 101 way lah.. I suddenly thought of how people kill themselves.


PLEASE DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME




1. Jumping
You know how much courage it takes for a person to jump off a building. Imagine you are standing on top of a 20 storey building and looking down. Every thing will look like barbie doll stuffs. Small buildings, small cars, small trees.. maby you can't even see the tiny weeny people down there. After that when you step out, you will start falling.

Fall.... fall...... fall..... PIACK ! Become pancake ! So gross one.



2.Drowning

Next is drowning. Imagine you are happily walking on the sand, looking at the beautiful sunset and out of nowhere, you see a head blobbling up and down in the waters. So spoil the mood lah!! Then you will pollute the waters with you rotting and fishes in the water will nibble away your eyeballs and everything.



3. Bomb Yourself
Some pathetic people want others to die with them and make a headline in the Monday papers so they bring a homemade bomb to the MRT stations or some other place with alot of people. When the trains come and bang you, your body will in millions of pieces. Poor cleaners need to clean up the mess.



4. Cut wrists
You won't die from cutting wrists. The cut is too small for enough blood to leave your body to kill you. (unless like you chop off your whole hand then is different lah) Somemore the damaged area will be clogged up in awhile. And it hurts. So don't go cutting your wrists and then text your girlfriend or boyfriend that you are going to die. :)



5. Bang wall

Most likely you will only get a concussion and make a fool of yourself. Imagine a person banging his head on the wall. It will make him look idiotic.



6. Hangman.
You see those depressed people in movies or dramas where they hang themselves up on a rope attatched to the celling. You die by jumping from a height and breaking your neck. If you did'nt manage to jump high enough, you will slowly suffocate do death. What if the rope is not strong enough to hold the person's weight. It will snap and it will be so hilarious (well for me). Or if the person's head is to big to fit into the lope. HAHAHAHAHA!



7. Suffocating yourself
No one can hold the pillow to his or her face long enough because when your body run out of oxygen you will pass out, lose grip of the pillow and starts breathing normally again.



8. Jump out suddenly infront of a incomming car
BANG! Blood everywhere, brain juice flowing, finger a few meters away, intestines popping out, post-traumatic stress disorder to the driver and traffic jam! So much inconvinience caused to those people rushing here and there. Please be considerate.




9. Drink some very very strong acid poison
This is, of courses for people who enjoy extreme pain. Imagine the it. Your guts melting away leaving holes and more holes all over. OUCH!




10. Eat yourself to death
How nice. Its even better it you are stuffing yourself with your favourite yummies!! Then when you eat until you cannot eat anymore and eat somemore, your tummy will burst :O


That's all I can think of. Haha bye!

Comments:
wah Fion, u trying to teach people how to suicide ah~~ >.<, u better dun do tat wor -.-
 
Nice article. But to mention, one can die by cutting the wrists, one just has to know _how_ to cut them. But you are right, it's usually the teenagers who are begging for attention who do cut their wrists, grown ups find a lot more efficient ways of killing theirselves.
Have a nice week! :)
 
Cute blog.
 
eating yourself to death wouldnt work you would just vomit when you cant eat any more. I like that you said jumping out in front of a car would be too inconsiderate to others involved they wouldnt know you wanted to die and the driver would blame him or herself for it and they may even kill themself bc of the guilt and that would be so not cool. I thought of a really good way that nobody seems to mention, death by overconsumption of alchohol. Basically just chug a handle of vodka or something like that and people that care about you would think you accidently had too much to drink at a party, which is better for them than knowing you killed yourself on purpose
 
this is stupid -__-
 
LOLOLOL.
 
not a good site >.<
 
bad site and irresponsible
 
BACKWARDS AND BARMY
 
NEEDS MEDICAL HELP @ __________ @
 
wow your really stupid
 
Hahahah XD.... Lol, maybe that person would die attempting to fit the head in...XP

Get electrocuted, you'll die instantly and win an award for the most burnt body ;) lol

Eh..... ;)
 
everyone is saying "ur stupid!" and "you need medical help dont commit scuicide"! Well there is one thing alike about all of us who commented- WE CAME TO THIS PAGE TO COMMIT SCUICIDE.
 
stupid
 
Wow. I came to this page in tears, looking for ways to end my life and ended up laughing,thanx, i now feel crazy
 
This site's fucking mad but wicked
 
Bahaha well.... uhm.....im guessing these are things u have done and not succeeded at? lol
 
I don't want to commit scuicide any more I realies I have lots to live for and everyone here needs medical treatment .
 
why the hell is it so hard to find intelligent, efficient, and effective to kill one's-self? jesus, if i had known it would be this hard i would have just hired a hit-man to do me in long ago.
 
Wth why would you want to eat until you can't lol but it made me laugh (:
 
all you commmenting on oh this is stupid, you came here because you looked up on google : 101 ways to kill yourself, well you got it, so just try not to be anymore stupid...
 
this is madd stupid.
 
I found it funny. I feel sucidal but you made me laugh.
 
Fuck you! People don't just cut their wrists for "attention." Bastard.
 
You should add drug overdose. Or like snake venom. Or a piano falling ontop of you.
 
Lol
 
Haha smh that made me laugh I was going threw a tuff month & couldn't help it no more so I came up this .. ima think twice now :)
 
I know I googled ways to kill myself. I know I may sound a bit mentally challenged, but I want to die, I want to kill myself, I want to feel the pain rising in my body and see myself in n puddle of my own blood. I dream about killing myself. And this site is an insult to say the least, yes I have tried to kill myself countless times and failed miserably but that doesn't say ima stop trying. And btw, I have tried the cutting of the wrist thing and it didn't work just passed out.
 
jump into an active volcano= no traces, no inconveniences.
 
Do you have..."issues"? Hanging yourself at attempt of suicide is FUNNY to you? You are one sick person.
Also, cutting your wrists will kill you. There are major arteries in your legs, wrists, and neck. Do your research.
 
thank you this really helps xx
 
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its kinda not funny when you actuly want to kill your self and have tryed
 
i do have to admit i did lol but like most of u lolz i did comme to try and find a way to you know .... my self but thx this did cher me up a bit LOL
 
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you are sickening! this is horrible, you really need help. teaching people how to kill themselves! damn!
 
I feel the same as you do.

 
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You can die from cutting your wrist in the.. correct ways. It's quite messy and if you don't do it right, you will fail.
You really are a disgusting human being if you make jokes about it.
 
U think this is funny. U actually think this is funny. Hnm. Alot of people nowadays don't care so I'm not that surprised.What disgust me though is that it's the popular people encouraging afterall its just something to read in the papers. Saying that they just want attention and need to get a grip. people are dying that's fact
 
U need to get a fucking grip and get off ur phones and laptops, messaging omg look at her hair.That seems to be wht the whole fucking world is about these days a social web of were better than u, and if u don't join the web of togetherness ur labeled as unsocialablemaybe they want to escape this world because in truth it fucking sucks and people are getting worse and more arrogant by the decade hidding behind words of Facebook-It connects people.Yh it also ruins their lives
 
In case u were wondering I have a mental illness but was smart enough and had the common sense to not take my life, and I'm sorry to say that I did this without the support of my family it seems as though every one has turned against me. Please note not all of this is aimed directly at u, but it did drive me off edge to see you laughing at people dying I mean wht if it was a family member no? Oh yh I guess it'd just be something to Facebook omg my brother's a freak or sister. At the start I liked the idea of this belonging but it always seems ur trying so hard to please people just when your talking on Facebook if u don't say something worthy of responding to u simply get ignored wht kind of bullshit and then ur always tugged and poked to make one of these things. " you don't have a Facebook u should make one. that's when they've got cause your like everyone in the system and once you've gotten into the system they'll give u ur rankings and reps shit! The system's broke. If u haven't yet been spoilt by the world yet and are still innocent I advise u strongly be ur own person don't worry wht over people think of u and live a good prosperious life in the eyes of the Lord Jesus Christ it would at least make me happy that one person hasn't fallen into this trap of being judged.If u ask me if you want to truly live a happy life like I once did sigh. Its to make people more aware of this preach to the people yh some will call u crazy but some might respect u for expressing ur thoughts and beliefs and being your own person and it is very likely that at the end of this reply I'm going to be called crazy or loony hover u want to do it.And yes the Bible does say to mix with society and be social but unfortunately it doesn't say in clear writing how to deal with it when the social system becomes corrupt for in those days jews weren't allowed to socialise with non jews obviously there something wrong therevery much same thing happening today only its more widely divided in race religion class ect.Overall just be your self and walk in the path of the Lord u can't go not to say there wont be a few bumps on the road but ull have innerpeace and be wht the describes as lukewarm sorry that is so long but if I don't say anything who will its ur choice anyway to listen to some of the things and please start using the technology correctly the amount of deaths and suicide s because of this sipmply for being black or Christian or even hmmm.. No homo no sadists alright bye.God bless
 
Lord have mercy is there no one to stop or even consider changing your mind.I think ud feel better if u told someone who could actually listen no onez listening nowadays. Cause wht ever ur going through it can't be too bad to take ur life I mean right now alot of people hate me in fact the hate is world somehow they put a video clip of me online broadcasting to the whole world cant seem to find it though which sucks because its about me and everyone else seems to know about it even my own family and friends know but are hiding it from me tell u how I know though so I'm on YouTube and I get a text from a stranger saying are u that boy in the class that everyone picks on.So yh and if have seen the video that somehow went viral with out me noticing im the boy its ruined my life but I gotto continue the fight and part of it for me that was making it worse was that I had no one to relate to so I hope im not too late and I just pray God be with you.

 
If ur joking about this and can still laugh u must not actually want to commit suicide even though u might be suicidal like me. I just God be with u cause there's so much to live for and o yh if there's people out there saying ur stupid or wht ever and at the same time r saying don't commit suicide and o u should never do take wht they have to say into consideration but let them know they r wrong too they r basically black maling u for eg this is what u should do yh I wont kill myself but u need to stop provoking me to u twat or plonker saying I'll never amount to anything and my sisters are better than me and stop pretending to be in the right at the end of the day the person who causes the person to feel like this is just as wrong. And if they say fine kill urself don't they have just as much problems as u do and don't give them that satisfaction either ignore them or report I wish I did sooner.In my opinion the people who you to die have problems not u.God bless

 
For those of you in the hood with these problems I want u to watch a movie called South Central. Then let me know how u feel about this.
 
Whts wrong with u stop now u saying sends a message that noone cares about them so do ur self a favour and shut the hell up
 
U know I'm not sure wht situation ur in but u need to know that there are people who care if ur gone including family friends or just some random stranger this is the problem we lost what it means to be human-looking out for your brothers and sisters I
Its not u its the world around its getting harder and harder for it to express any empathy sad story but true.any way I pray God be with u and keep u
 
Good on you
 
I am glad you know that I hope God be with u so u can also get the seriousness of this to everyone else
 
I think ur a disgusting human being giving people advice on how to kill themselves wht do think this is a cook your chicken guide they need u to give them some encouragement cus if u believe they have no hope then they will too and wont reconsider pls at least give them a second option like how to overcome depression and the issues that surround it
 
For all u about to kill urselves or r thinking of doing so beyond this shocking page where people give advice to kill yourself there actually people who care about u including the Lord Jesus so I just ask u as an experiment for a month at least go to your local church or read a Bible if your in an area not accessible or use your laptop look up the bible download it as an app even and there u will discover that God loved us so much he gave us his son so he could live John 3:16
 
Want u to die* I'm not saying this to anyone just correcting my recent reply I wish u all happiness God be with u
 
Have u been through the shit theyre climbing through right or did u just come here to make fun of people u insecure bastard I hope u find non sadistical happiness but happiness of the Lord God be with u
 
I with u on this not even guide to overcome the urge to kill urself as a second just kill urself that's basically it sick.I hope the Lord can guide u to make the right decision
 
Well done I was just like u anyway it's good to c people on this page not talking about different methods
 
We could live*
 
love your ideas know going to try one hope it work
 
i ment to say i am now going to try one o your tips now i think tip # 6
 

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