Tuesday, April 14, 2009
101 Ways To Kill Yourself guide
PLEASE DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME
You know how much courage it takes for a person to jump off a building. Imagine you are standing on top of a 20 storey building and looking down. Every thing will look like barbie doll stuffs. Small buildings, small cars, small trees.. maby you can't even see the tiny weeny people down there. After that when you step out, you will start falling.
Fall.... fall...... fall..... PIACK ! Become pancake ! So gross one.
Next is drowning. Imagine you are happily walking on the sand, looking at the beautiful sunset and out of nowhere, you see a head blobbling up and down in the waters. So spoil the mood lah!! Then you will pollute the waters with you rotting and fishes in the water will nibble away your eyeballs and everything.
3. Bomb Yourself
Some pathetic people want others to die with them and make a headline in the Monday papers so they bring a homemade bomb to the MRT stations or some other place with alot of people. When the trains come and bang you, your body will in millions of pieces. Poor cleaners need to clean up the mess.
4. Cut wrists
You won't die from cutting wrists. The cut is too small for enough blood to leave your body to kill you. (unless like you chop off your whole hand then is different lah) Somemore the damaged area will be clogged up in awhile. And it hurts. So don't go cutting your wrists and then text your girlfriend or boyfriend that you are going to die. :)
5. Bang wall
Most likely you will only get a concussion and make a fool of yourself. Imagine a person banging his head on the wall. It will make him look idiotic.
You see those depressed people in movies or dramas where they hang themselves up on a rope attatched to the celling. You die by jumping from a height and breaking your neck. If you did'nt manage to jump high enough, you will slowly suffocate do death. What if the rope is not strong enough to hold the person's weight. It will snap and it will be so hilarious (well for me). Or if the person's head is to big to fit into the lope. HAHAHAHAHA!
7. Suffocating yourself
No one can hold the pillow to his or her face long enough because when your body run out of oxygen you will pass out, lose grip of the pillow and starts breathing normally again.
8. Jump out suddenly infront of a incomming car
BANG! Blood everywhere, brain juice flowing, finger a few meters away, intestines popping out, post-traumatic stress disorder to the driver and traffic jam! So much inconvinience caused to those people rushing here and there. Please be considerate.
9. Drink some very very strong acid poison
This is, of courses for people who enjoy extreme pain. Imagine the it. Your guts melting away leaving holes and more holes all over. OUCH!
10. Eat yourself to death
How nice. Its even better it you are stuffing yourself with your favourite yummies!! Then when you eat until you cannot eat anymore and eat somemore, your tummy will burst :O
That's all I can think of. Haha bye!
Have a nice week! :)
Get electrocuted, you'll die instantly and win an award for the most burnt body ;) lol
Also, cutting your wrists will kill you. There are major arteries in your legs, wrists, and neck. Do your research.
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