Tuesday, April 14, 2009
101 Ways To Kill Yourself guide
Its not really 101 way lah.. I suddenly thought of how people kill themselves.
PLEASE DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME
1. Jumping
You know how much courage it takes for a person to jump off a building. Imagine you are standing on top of a 20 storey building and looking down. Every thing will look like barbie doll stuffs. Small buildings, small cars, small trees.. maby you can't even see the tiny weeny people down there. After that when you step out, you will start falling.
Fall.... fall...... fall..... PIACK ! Become pancake ! So gross one.
2.Drowning
3. Bomb Yourself
Some pathetic people want others to die with them and make a headline in the Monday papers so they bring a homemade bomb to the MRT stations or some other place with alot of people. When the trains come and bang you, your body will in millions of pieces. Poor cleaners need to clean up the mess.
4. Cut wrists
You won't die from cutting wrists. The cut is too small for enough blood to leave your body to kill you. (unless like you chop off your whole hand then is different lah) Somemore the damaged area will be clogged up in awhile. And it hurts. So don't go cutting your wrists and then text your girlfriend or boyfriend that you are going to die. :)
5. Bang wall
Most likely you will only get a concussion and make a fool of yourself. Imagine a person banging his head on the wall. It will make him look idiotic.
6. Hangman.
You see those depressed people in movies or dramas where they hang themselves up on a rope attatched to the celling. You die by jumping from a height and breaking your neck. If you did'nt manage to jump high enough, you will slowly suffocate do death. What if the rope is not strong enough to hold the person's weight. It will snap and it will be so hilarious (well for me). Or if the person's head is to big to fit into the lope. HAHAHAHAHA!
7. Suffocating yourself
No one can hold the pillow to his or her face long enough because when your body run out of oxygen you will pass out, lose grip of the pillow and starts breathing normally again.
8. Jump out suddenly infront of a incomming car
BANG! Blood everywhere, brain juice flowing, finger a few meters away, intestines popping out, post-traumatic stress disorder to the driver and traffic jam! So much inconvinience caused to those people rushing here and there. Please be considerate.
9. Drink some very very strong acid poison
This is, of courses for people who enjoy extreme pain. Imagine the it. Your guts melting away leaving holes and more holes all over. OUCH!
10. Eat yourself to death
How nice. Its even better it you are stuffing yourself with your favourite yummies!! Then when you eat until you cannot eat anymore and eat somemore, your tummy will burst :O
That's all I can think of. Haha bye!
PLEASE DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME
1. Jumping
You know how much courage it takes for a person to jump off a building. Imagine you are standing on top of a 20 storey building and looking down. Every thing will look like barbie doll stuffs. Small buildings, small cars, small trees.. maby you can't even see the tiny weeny people down there. After that when you step out, you will start falling.
Fall.... fall...... fall..... PIACK ! Become pancake ! So gross one.
2.Drowning
Next is drowning. Imagine you are happily walking on the sand, looking at the beautiful sunset and out of nowhere, you see a head blobbling up and down in the waters. So spoil the mood lah!! Then you will pollute the waters with you rotting and fishes in the water will nibble away your eyeballs and everything.
3. Bomb Yourself
Some pathetic people want others to die with them and make a headline in the Monday papers so they bring a homemade bomb to the MRT stations or some other place with alot of people. When the trains come and bang you, your body will in millions of pieces. Poor cleaners need to clean up the mess.
4. Cut wrists
You won't die from cutting wrists. The cut is too small for enough blood to leave your body to kill you. (unless like you chop off your whole hand then is different lah) Somemore the damaged area will be clogged up in awhile. And it hurts. So don't go cutting your wrists and then text your girlfriend or boyfriend that you are going to die. :)
5. Bang wall
Most likely you will only get a concussion and make a fool of yourself. Imagine a person banging his head on the wall. It will make him look idiotic.
6. Hangman.
You see those depressed people in movies or dramas where they hang themselves up on a rope attatched to the celling. You die by jumping from a height and breaking your neck. If you did'nt manage to jump high enough, you will slowly suffocate do death. What if the rope is not strong enough to hold the person's weight. It will snap and it will be so hilarious (well for me). Or if the person's head is to big to fit into the lope. HAHAHAHAHA!
7. Suffocating yourself
No one can hold the pillow to his or her face long enough because when your body run out of oxygen you will pass out, lose grip of the pillow and starts breathing normally again.
8. Jump out suddenly infront of a incomming car
BANG! Blood everywhere, brain juice flowing, finger a few meters away, intestines popping out, post-traumatic stress disorder to the driver and traffic jam! So much inconvinience caused to those people rushing here and there. Please be considerate.
9. Drink some very very strong acid poison
This is, of courses for people who enjoy extreme pain. Imagine the it. Your guts melting away leaving holes and more holes all over. OUCH!
10. Eat yourself to death
How nice. Its even better it you are stuffing yourself with your favourite yummies!! Then when you eat until you cannot eat anymore and eat somemore, your tummy will burst :O
That's all I can think of. Haha bye!
# posted by FION @ 9:10 PM 
Comments:
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Nice article. But to mention, one can die by cutting the wrists, one just has to know _how_ to cut them. But you are right, it's usually the teenagers who are begging for attention who do cut their wrists, grown ups find a lot more efficient ways of killing theirselves.
Have a nice week! :)
Have a nice week! :)
# posted by 
: October 20, 2009 at 1:20 AM
: October 20, 2009 at 1:20 AM
eating yourself to death wouldnt work you would just vomit when you cant eat any more. I like that you said jumping out in front of a car would be too inconsiderate to others involved they wouldnt know you wanted to die and the driver would blame him or herself for it and they may even kill themself bc of the guilt and that would be so not cool. I thought of a really good way that nobody seems to mention, death by overconsumption of alchohol. Basically just chug a handle of vodka or something like that and people that care about you would think you accidently had too much to drink at a party, which is better for them than knowing you killed yourself on purpose
# posted by : April 17, 2010 at 9:41 AM
: April 17, 2010 at 9:41 AM
Hahahah XD.... Lol, maybe that person would die attempting to fit the head in...XP
Get electrocuted, you'll die instantly and win an award for the most burnt body ;) lol
Eh..... ;)
Get electrocuted, you'll die instantly and win an award for the most burnt body ;) lol
Eh..... ;)
# posted by : January 31, 2011 at 8:14 PM
: January 31, 2011 at 8:14 PM
everyone is saying "ur stupid!" and "you need medical help dont commit scuicide"! Well there is one thing alike about all of us who commented- WE CAME TO THIS PAGE TO COMMIT SCUICIDE.
# posted by : February 1, 2011 at 11:23 AM
: February 1, 2011 at 11:23 AM
Wow. I came to this page in tears, looking for ways to end my life and ended up laughing,thanx, i now feel crazy
# posted by : February 21, 2011 at 3:12 AM
: February 21, 2011 at 3:12 AM
Bahaha well.... uhm.....im guessing these are things u have done and not succeeded at? lol
# posted by : April 21, 2011 at 2:57 PM
: April 21, 2011 at 2:57 PM
I don't want to commit scuicide any more I realies I have lots to live for and everyone here needs medical treatment .
# posted by : July 26, 2011 at 11:39 AM
: July 26, 2011 at 11:39 AM
why the hell is it so hard to find intelligent, efficient, and effective to kill one's-self? jesus, if i had known it would be this hard i would have just hired a hit-man to do me in long ago.
# posted by : August 5, 2011 at 3:36 PM
: August 5, 2011 at 3:36 PM
Wth why would you want to eat until you can't lol but it made me laugh (:
# posted by : October 23, 2011 at 11:45 PM
: October 23, 2011 at 11:45 PM
all you commmenting on oh this is stupid, you came here because you looked up on google : 101 ways to kill yourself, well you got it, so just try not to be anymore stupid...
# posted by : January 16, 2012 at 4:43 PM
: January 16, 2012 at 4:43 PM
Fuck you! People don't just cut their wrists for "attention." Bastard.
# posted by : May 30, 2012 at 5:35 AM
: May 30, 2012 at 5:35 AM
You should add drug overdose. Or like snake venom. Or a piano falling ontop of you.
# posted by : July 9, 2012 at 12:34 AM
: July 9, 2012 at 12:34 AM
Haha smh that made me laugh I was going threw a tuff month & couldn't help it no more so I came up this .. ima think twice now :)
I know I googled ways to kill myself. I know I may sound a bit mentally challenged, but I want to die, I want to kill myself, I want to feel the pain rising in my body and see myself in n puddle of my own blood. I dream about killing myself. And this site is an insult to say the least, yes I have tried to kill myself countless times and failed miserably but that doesn't say ima stop trying. And btw, I have tried the cutting of the wrist thing and it didn't work just passed out.
# posted by : September 14, 2012 at 2:13 AM
: September 14, 2012 at 2:13 AM
Do you have..."issues"? Hanging yourself at attempt of suicide is FUNNY to you? You are one sick person.
Also, cutting your wrists will kill you. There are major arteries in your legs, wrists, and neck. Do your research.
Also, cutting your wrists will kill you. There are major arteries in your legs, wrists, and neck. Do your research.
# posted by : October 20, 2012 at 9:38 AM
: October 20, 2012 at 9:38 AM
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: March 9, 2013 at 11:47 AM
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# posted by : April 18, 2013 at 10:35 PM
: April 18, 2013 at 10:35 PM
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# posted by : April 19, 2013 at 7:33 PM
: April 19, 2013 at 7:33 PM
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: April 19, 2013 at 8:24 PM
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: April 20, 2013 at 12:40 AM
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# posted by : April 20, 2013 at 4:32 AM
: April 20, 2013 at 4:32 AM
its kinda not funny when you actuly want to kill your self and have tryed
# posted by : April 23, 2013 at 2:25 AM
: April 23, 2013 at 2:25 AM
i do have to admit i did lol but like most of u lolz i did comme to try and find a way to you know .... my self but thx this did cher me up a bit LOL
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: April 23, 2013 at 2:28 AM
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# posted by : April 28, 2013 at 7:59 PM
: April 28, 2013 at 7:59 PM
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# posted by : April 30, 2013 at 3:39 PM
: April 30, 2013 at 3:39 PM
you are sickening! this is horrible, you really need help. teaching people how to kill themselves! damn!
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: May 11, 2013 at 9:00 AM Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
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